I was just locked in the hallway at work because I forgot my scan-card when leaving for a moment. I was locked out for 30 minutes. 15 songs played on my iPod while away…and there are 3078 squares on the carpet in that hallway. I also thought about what would happen if we lost gravity or if they made a sequel to 28 Days Later. Would they pick up where they left off or try to make a 2nd plot?

It has finally happened. The long awaited addition to the Guest Room marks our travel to the other side of creation…Sacramento, CA. Other Aaron has been working endlessly through what he calls his Mecca tracks to deliver what I must say is the most chill guest set that Subway State has had the pleasure of introducing.

I will write more but I just got home and I am spent.

That’s right. I go away for three days and come back a brother-in-law. Who knew? Actually I think I told you a couple posts ago. But yeah, my younger brother got married. Pleeeease little brother don’t make babies yet. I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle an immediate transition to big-gay-uncle. There were enough pictures and photoshoots to fill 5 calendars and a couple magazines for an entire year. I may even show you all what I look like in a tux. I hate dress clothes. But when I saw myself, being in that tux made me want to shoot a porn. It was just hot. But will I ever buy a tux? Probably not.

In Manchester this weekend, my partner was exposed for the first time to some 20 members of my extended family and they all adored him as much as I do, if not more. Meet the parents, which had only been meet the father up to this point, was extended to meet the mother. He met my mom. So it’s official now, he’s been inducted as a **mylastnamehere**. Why do I say this?   Because in a battle to see who was the bigger smartass…he beat my mom. Apparently I chose wisely.

You’ll likely see the word partner on this blog more often in reference to my man. Boyfriend is officially old and really sorta childish. And we’re better than boyfriends. We’re just plain ol’ trouble.  Plus it’s better than the word companion, which my mother stammered out when trying to find a word to describe him when making introductions with the pastor and his wife….. But I have to say that seeing eye dog was a great comeback to one-up mom when he met the pastor. Hilarious!!

I was pleased that this wedding ended up being a defacto family reunion. Everyone from my dad’s side of the family had not been together since 1986.  And it may very well be the very last time it ever happens. The heavy drinking, which was 100% absent from all wedding things….*cough*….switched hotel rooms each night. Once in our room where we all sang (horribly) every single verse to American Pie as I led them with lyrics from my Internet phone…(and they said they remembered the words….ha!!)…..then in my aunt & uncles room, and then in my other uncle’s room….

Who knew I would ever see my mother get drunk?! And who knew I would be the one that made it happen?!?!? I had no idea I would introduce her to a red wine she would enjoy so much….. When asking for someone to hand me the bottle, she ganked the last pour. I have never heard her slur her words. HA!!There is a lot that went on at the wedding that was eye-opening.  Forget the fact that I and some other family didn’t even meet the bride until the day before….forget that there were 5 photo-shoots combined with all of the other cameras floating around through friends and family…and forget the fact that I almost fell off the stage from heat, migraine and exhaustion during the wedding (no you couldn’t tell)…..and forget that there were THREE separate receptions….I know for once I can actually say that I’m not crazy. It just runs in the family. My family is the biggest bunch of humorous, witty, sarcastic funny clowns with cameras I have ever met. (My 3rd cousin and I joked that we were all born with Kodak tattoos and our first roll of film ready for development when popping out of the womb….)

I just wanted to shout that. That is all.

Today…is going to be very….slow……